Sometimes we get into a cycle that resembles ground hog’s day. We go through the motions of our routines, rinse and repeat without realizing that sameness is stale and BORING. If we aren't careful, we can begin to allow our routine to enter our relationships. Date nights become only dinner and a movie or fall off the calendar, a deep kiss becomes a quick peck, and conversation topics include the lawn, the plumber, and the mortgage (yawn!)
When relationship ruts happen, one or both people can become susceptible to outside sources and begin to seek other means of fulfillment. Countless people have been asked why they cheated, and gave the answer, ‘It was something different.’
If the absence of something different can harm a relationship, why not bring something different to the relationship to keep it fresh and alive? As much as many of us dislike change, new things are good for us. Newness keeps us sharp, engaged, energized, and properly focused. Not only did God say, Behold, I do a new thing, now it shall spring forth, but the word tells us that He makes all things new. He also constantly pushes me out of my comfort zone to do what I've never done before.
If you’re in a rut, here are 4 simple things you can do to break out of it fast:
1. Change Your Appearance
The Lord recently told me to cut my hair. It was a dramatic change that gave me a very chic, modern look. When my husband saw me, he could not stop complimenting me and saying, “I got my wife back!” His reaction had me smiling from ear to ear.
Sometimes we get stuck in the same old look we’ve had for years without realizing that it's time to upgrade. If you haven’t changed your appearance in a while, get a new cut or dye your hair. Change your makeup color or get a new outfit that is different from what you currently wear. The positive reactions will make you feel great about yourself.
2. Try Something New
This year, my family and I made different new year’s resolutions. We each agreed to do one thing we hadn’t tried before. I chose a pottery class. The class was fun, different, and brought out more of my creative side. Because I was so fulfilled from the class, I brought that same attitude and mood home to husband.
There are so many hobbies, classes and activities: ballroom dancing, kick boxing, learning a new language, taking up music or cooking…try something new for yourself or as a couple and you’ll notice a change in you that others, especially your honey, will find appealing.
3. Face A Fear
We all have fears, some of them silly. Mine is heights. But a couple years ago, I decided that if I could overcome my fear, I could face an intimidating work challenge.
I found a local outdoor recreation center and talked myself into going ziplining. With this particular location, you have to physically climb a pole that is about the height of a utility pole. You then have to tight rope walk to the zipline.
Once I finished ziplining, I roared like a champion. Conquering my fear made me feel exhilarated and powerful. It reminded me of the scripture in Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me, and I was able to finish my work project with confidence. My husband was so proud, he talked about it for days and it motivated him to face one of his big fears--writing a book, which he did amazingly! Plug: Check out "The Walking Miracle" by Tyuan Rice on Amazon.
4. Go, Go, Go
Bills, kids, work and all the rest of everyday life can leave you wanting to throw in the towel. This is exactly what Ty and I do regularly. We throw in the towel! We build time into our busy schedules at least 3-4 times a year to either play hooky for a day or take a needed vacation.
When we change our scenery and make time to enjoy life, it helps us reconnect, clear our minds, laugh, appreciate home, and realize that our issues are not as bad or pressure-filled as they sometimes seem.
Take some kind of break even if it’s just a weekend. Some might not wish to travel at this time but get in the car and drive somewhere for a day to hike, sit by the water with a great lunch or if you can, visit relatives. The object is to set aside the day-to-day grind and change your surroundings for a while.
The overall point of these ideas is for you to give yourself something to look forward to. Switching things up satisfies your inner need to feel fresh and alive again, where life isn’t just one more day to survive, but an opportunity to live the abundant life Jesus gave us.